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Friday, April 23, 2010

The Heat...Wade and a bunch of bums...

Chico Meng drops in the BBB to examine the Miami Heat. Wade has to be kicking himself. They should announce the lineup like this..."Introducing your Miami Heat...Dwayne Wade and four other bums"...enjoy...

After watching the C’s hammer the Heat on Tuesday night and noticing the “1 man show” offense employed by the Heat (give the ball to Wade, watch him launch shots), I took some time to review their 2009/2010 roster. Not sure exactly how much I learned, but I did determine that D-Wade must be a lonely man. He is one of the premier players in the NBA, already has a title under his belt, yet probably can’t name half the players on his own team. The deeper that I looked, the more that I realized just how pathetic the Heat’s supporting cast is. It amazes me that this team won as many games as they did this year. Kudos to their odd looking coach for getting the most out of this motley crew. The real fun will come for Miami after this season if / when D Wade opts out of his current deal and bolts via free agency.

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So in preparation of tonight’s game 3, here is the BBB Guide to the Miami Heat Supporting Cast:

Jermaine O’Neil: One of my least favorite players of the modern era. He’s soft, doesn’t appear to try half the time and plays with no heart. Add it up and you have someone with great talent, great physical tools and decent regular season stats that go down dramatically when the playoffs roll around (career playoffs stats .422 shooting %, 13 points, 7 boards per game). It was fun watching this guy go 1 for 10 from the floor the other night with his silly turn around post moves. He’s a F/A after this season. Now that should give the Heat fans something to cheer about.

Michael Beasley: A second year player with promise, but is inconsistent. During her weekly interview on WEEI’s Dale and Holley show, Jackie McMullen mentioned that Pat Riley once claimed that Beasley is the “the most gifted offensive player that I have ever seen”. Holley called BS on the comment by responding that “it really makes you wonder about Pat”, and I completely agree with him. Beasley should have a nice NBA career, but Riley can’t possibly be serious with a comment like that.

The Q: I just don’t get how anyone can cheer for this guy. Almost like when the C’s had Ricky Davis, it was nearly impossible to root for his individual success. Speaking of Ricky D, many traits are shared by him and The Q: both can barely put a sentence together during an interview, both act and look like thugs, both get traded nearly every year and neither cares about their team success. Q the marksman has a career shooting percentage of .400. But don’t fret Heat Fans, his shooting percentage goes all the way up to .404 in his vast playoff experience (9 years in the league, second year in the playoffs). I find it very fun to cheer against this NBA nomad.

Udonis Haslem: Another unrestricted F/A after this season. He might actually find greener grass somewhere else as there will be some demand for his services. I view him as a modern day, poor man’s Charles Oakley. He helped during the Heat’s title run few years back, but he’s more of a role player than a difference maker. We’d love him if he was on the C’s because of his consistency and because he bangs the boards hard. But since he was mouthing off at the end of game 1 during the incident, he’s just another stiff until he hits the F/A market.

Rounding out the rest:
Carolos Arroyo: Could be the worst starting PG in the league right now
Jamall Magliore: NBA’s version of a NHL goon
Dorell Wright: Who?
Mario Chalmers: I have to admit, I like this guy, mainly because of his name
Joel Anthony: Mark Anthony?

Will one of these guys step up tonight and bring the Heat back into the series? My answer is simple: NO.

Chico-Meng is the owner of the 3 time MVFFL Champion Homestead Darts, restaurant critic and Bingo Bar Blog contributor. Please email feedback to

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