Here’s a little known secret. The police do not want to talk to you. If you call attention to yourself, shame on you. They want to go to work for 8 hours, hopefully not receive a call, and then go home.
Here are this week’s two easy tips to avoid drawing attention to yourself and your friends.
1. Baby Showers/Baby Birthdays. Schedule them accordingly. They should not be scheduled from 10 PM to 3 AM. There should not be a rap group hired as entertainment. If there is a cake, make sure there is also a child and even a future baby mama there. If an invitee decides to throw beer bottles in the street, rest assured your neighbors will call the police. Get rid of the guest. If the drunk is the future baby mama, somebody is going to have to take the hit for her. When the police get there, tell them the problem was thrown out of the party. Do not let the drunk pregnant girl speak to, or even make eye contact with the police. Hide her in the bathroom or basement.
2. Weed. Just because it has been decriminalized, it is still illegal. Do not think it’s funny to walk up to a cop smoking a joint and ask for the time. It’s not, and they can still really jam you up if they want to. If you get pulled over and the first thing the cop says is, “Just give me the weed,” then just hand it over. Don’t lie. He’s been following the smell and smoke behind you car for a mile. He waited for a mile hoping you would be done with it by the time you were pulled over. Make sure it is already “sacked” or gone.
Next week: VERY useful OUI tips and tricks.
RIP Bob Ross 7/4/95
These tips are not to be construed as legal advice. Jay is not a lawyer. These tips are not intended to be applied in small towns with cops who want to be heroes.
i like baby mamas
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